How To: Be Intentionally Positive

Do you want to know what’s one bad habit I’ve given up in 2020?

Watching the news.

No seriously, I’m not kidding. I truly believe that the majority of today’s issues are due to media hype. But really though, when was the last time that you watched the news and only heard positive things, or even neutral things?

I’ll wait…

Yeah, I thought so. Every single time I watch the news I see death totals, infected rates, riots, and just a mess of weird, terrible things. It’s taxing to constantly be hit with all of this, especially when the end is nowhere near sight.

I’ll be honest, I let it get the best of me. I started to become more negative – be less conscious of my comments, always blame others, only see the negative side of things, and I started complaining 24/7.

But one day I looked at myself in the mirror and was disappointed at what I had let myself become. I have always been a realist when it comes to my outlook on life, but there was always an optimistic spin. But this version of Taylor, well instead of her usual Sandy Cheeks she was acting more like a Squidward.

I made a conscious decision to return to my logically positive outlook on life. I won’t sugar coat it, it took a minute. You never realize how much easier it is to complain and condemn than it is to compliment and forgive until you have to make that effort! I wish I would have had someone tell me a few things when I was in this funk, so I wrote down a few things that helped me “cheer up” and to be intentionally positive.

1. Cool It Down

I’ve been quarantined in a 700 sqft apartment for 4 months now with my husband, two large dogs, and cat. We are on top of each other and tensions are high to say the least. I noticed that recently both my husband and I were more irritable with each other and were starting pointless fights more often than not. He would say something snarky, I didn’t like his tone, and then another pass later we are upset for the rest of the night.

And for what?

It’s so easy to let the heat of the moment rile up our emotions, so I’ve made it a point to take a few seconds to think of my response and talk calmly to avoid as many unnecessary arguments as possible. It’s made our marriage 10000x better, our nights more pleasant, and because of all of the above my mood is better! It’s a win all around!

2. Take Care of Yourself

Self care sounds so cliche to include on this list, but there is a reason it’s always on these! I never understood what self care really meant until this year. I always invisioned bubble baths (which I don’t care for) with wine and bonbons (which I totally do care for lol).

For once in my life, I was wrong and I will admit it here to you all! I’m sure this will be my husband’s favorite part of the blog post 🙂

For me, self care is prioritizing time for what destresses me – because stress is in full abundance these days. My best stress reliever: exercise. So, I try my best to wake up early and go for a run or hit the gym. I 100% can notice a a difference in my mood when I don’t get a good sweat in for the day.

Whatever gets you in a good mood, take time to make that a priority in your day. Trust me, you won’t regret it and neither will anyone around you!

3. Don’t Go Down the Rabbithole

Social media can be toxic. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, negative comments are thrown around like confetti, and it seems that everyone only has rude things to say.

Do yourself the favor and just don’t. Don’t scroll through all of the comments looking for the tea, don’t search controversial hashtags, don’t take the clickbate, and if someone writes something negative towards you just kill them with kindness or block them and ignore. They aren’t worth it sweetie. It’s probably some preteen in their mom’s basement anyways.

4. Flip the Switch

If you ever catch yourself starting to overreact negatively about a situation, take, like, 15 seconds to think about the other side’s perspective. Did they give their reasoning and facts to support their statement? You should actually listen to them and consider their points.

It’s totally fine to still disagree, but it’s totally not fine to remain stubborn. Being open to new information and ideas will alleviate SOOO many of your problems. Your relationships will improve, your conversations will rarely turn into arguments, and all around you will be in a more positive mood! Oh, and be more knowledgeable!

Seriously, you should try it.

5. Go Out Of Your Way To Be Nice

One of life’s best joys is doing something purely to make someone else happy. When was the last time you went out of your way to make someone’s day?

I’ve been incredibly selfish this year. Yes, this has been an exceptionally sh*tty year, and I used that as my crutch for so long. My husband has gone above and beyond to help me cope through this year’s events, yet looking back I fell very short on doing the same for him.

I started making it a point to compliment my husband, give him massages and back scratches, do little favors for him and make sure I did my fair share of the chores. When was the last time you went out of your way for your significant other?

And this shouldn’t be exclusive to romantic relationships! It’s simple to show kindness to anyone! Smile at strangers (when not wearing a mask), text or FaceTime a friend to check up on them, ask any older people in your life if you can run an errand for them. It can be as small or large a gesture as you’d like.

If you start focusing your energy on making others happy, that’s less time to make yourself upset.

6. Just Say You’re Sorry

I am the world’s worst when it comes to admitting I am wrong! I HATE being wrong. It’s like there’s something inside of me that’s allergic to losing anything.

Because of my poor attitude lately I have been more prone to starting (and continuing) arguments, just without my usual thinking tactics to back my arguments.

This means that…

a. I am arguing for no good reason

b. I’m more likely to say something I don’t mean

c. Most of what I say makes little sense after my first few comments

d. I get myself riled up in this process for no good reason

Again, where does this get me? In a self-created downward emotional spiral, putting myself and my relationship in a worse place than when I started talking.

Just swallow your pride, admit that you are wrong (only if you are of course) and say you are sorry. You, the person on the other end, and your relationship will all thank you.

Promise me, like reeeaaaallly promise me, that you will do at least one of these above next time you feel yourself on that train of negativity. Try to mitigate the situation and be in control of your emotions and your life again girl!!

XOXO,

Taylor Emery