Not many of y’all know this, but today is our two year wedding anniversary <3
Two years ago, Josh and I woke up bright and early, put on our Sunday best, drove to the courthouse, and exchanged vows in front of the magistrate and two of our friends. We made the choice to elope for multiple reasons. We wanted to start a family and buy a house together. With Josh being in the military, we weren’t allowed to live together until we were married (well he wasn’t allowed to live off of base unless it was with his spouse) and as a his spouse I was given access to base so I was able to pick him up after a deployment and updates on his location and activities when he was not on base.
In honor of our two year anniversary I wanted to share two things that being married has taught me and how they make me a better partner to my husband.
1. Know You and Your Partner’s Love Language
I took this quiz when I was in college and made Josh take it shortly before we got married. It takes about 10 minutes and asks questions about what makes you feel most loved and what you do to show your love. The result is your list of how strongly you feel love through the 5 categories: Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and Receiving Gifts.
I listed mine in order of importance from top to bottom, so I feel most loved when I am Physically Touched by my husband. Now this doesn’t mean touched in a sexual way (well…I mean can you blame me) but simply having physical contact. Grabbing my hand, giving me a kiss, hugging me, snuggling before we go to sleep. All of these simple acts are ways that Josh can show me he loves me without saying “I love you”.
Now, your love language doesn’t have to be a static result – outside of my husband Words of Affirmation is my love language. Hearing my parents say they are proud of me is one of the best feelings in the world and lets me know that they are overjoyed with my actions and how I am driving my life. I don’t want them to hold my hand or give extended hugs, but hearing they are proud of me is exactly what I need.
Josh is a little different. He appreciates Quality Time more than anything. This means when we get home from work we sit down and truly talk to each other, ask how each other’s day went, have a meaningful conversation, do something together just the two of us uninterrupted. Social media and technology have such a way of interfering with our real-life social settings, so we make it a point to ditch the screens and have time together just us.
This quality time together shows my husband that he is the most important aspect of my life, that he means more than anything my phone can show me or anything my day has provided. By giving him my undivided attention it shows him that I love him and am truly interested in his life and happiness. It’s a way of saying “I love you” without words.
2. Openly Communicate EVERYTHING
Everyone says communication is the key to a happy marriage. Well that is partially true. Unmet expectations are the biggest killer to a relationship – a lack of communication is the action, or lack thereof, that causes this issue.
We build up certain expectations of how our life or a situation will play out, and if it’s not met with what we expect, typically we lose interest or are disappointed. Communication kills expectation and can save a marriage over and over again.
Josh and I are both very independent people. We didn’t live on our own for very long before moving in together, but we are both very strong-willed, stuck in our ways, driven individuals that plan to reach our goals and conquer the world. Neither of us show emotion well so if we didn’t clearly communicate everything, our personalities would not match well when faced with unmet expectations. This is why it is so key for us to talk about all of our issues, current and future, to avoid an argument, disappointment, or any adversity within our marriage.
Marriage is beautiful, and my husband shows me how fun and joyful it can be every day. There will be bad days, there may even be terrible days, but all of them are worth it to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.
XOXO,
Taylor Emery
Dress: Amazon | Earrings: Amazon| Jean Jacket: Forever21
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